What if I don't care?
by QueenLackhead
Summary: A bunch of Harry/Ginny one shots.
1. When You're Gone

_I always needed time on my own.  
>I never thought I'd need you there when I cry.<em>

I was always the youngest. Always the only girl. Always the one that needed to prove herself to others. I always isolated myself. The last time I cried was when I broke my arm when I was five.

But now, we are in a war. You and Ron are missing. George is missing an ear. Mum barely speaks, and so do I. And I cry. All the time.

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone._

How long has it been? The calendar says you have left a week ago. A week? The calendar must be wrong. I count every time I cry. Three hundred and twenty-one. How could one cry and reassemble herself so many times in a mere week? It feels like it has been months. Years. Decades. And it might be. You might never get back.

__  
><em>When you walk away, I count the steps that you take. Do you see how much I need you right now?<br>_

And at the wedding. Hooded faces. People screaming. Someone was pulling me to safety. But I could only look at you. Only you as your eyes moved nervously over the crowd screaming for my brother. Only you, as after eight nervous glances and fifteen steps back and forward, you grabbed his and Hermione's arm and turned on the spot, going away. From me. From us. From safety. To the Unknown.

_When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.  
><em>

Would it be too much of a cliché if I said there was a hole in my heart? It probably would, and I was never that kind of girl. You are gone, my brother is gone, and so is my best friend. There _is_ an empty place in my heart.

_When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too.  
><em>

I remember everything about you. I remember your horrible raven hair. I remember those beautiful eyes of yours. I remember the line your jaw line made. I remember your arms, my safe place, and my harbour. But you are not here. And the memory is nothing like the real you.

_When you're gone, the words I need to hear to always get me through the day, and make it okay.  
><em>

Every day, a new death. A new disappearance. Someone I knew and loved getting hurt, going missing or dying. And you are not here to tell me that it _is_ going to be okay. That this war _will_ end. That we will all be happy again. And I need that. But no one can say those words to me. Because no one believes them anymore.

_I've never felt this way before. Everything that I do, reminds me of you._

I try to forget about you. Did you think I would be any other way? But everywhere I go, everything I do, you are there. Making lunch, flying, cleaning the house, teasing Fleur. You are everywhere, and I cannot make you go away.

_And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor._

_And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do._

Your clothes are still on the floor of Ron's room. The enormous pair of jeans you got from your cousin. The Weasley jumper my Mum made for you last Christmas. I like to wear them, no matter the looks that I get. They smell like you, you know. Broomstick polish and treacle tart. And yet again, they remind me of you too. The way you play with my hair. Or that spark in your eyes when you know you are right. The little things I love about you.

_We were made for each other, out here forever.  
>I know we were.<em> 

I knew we were going to end up together. Ever since I first saw you at King's Cross. Before I even knew your name. That time the colour of your eyes became my favourite one. And I know that we still belong. I know that we will be together. That you will survive this war. That we all are. Because that is our only way to keep each other strong.

_All I ever wanted was for you to know, everything I do I give my heart and soul.  
><em>

I was always passionate about things. I wanted to learn how to fly; I stole my brothers' brooms. I wanted to get and 'O' in a test and I worked hard to get it. I wanted us to be together, and I did everything I could. And once we were, it was just as I wanted. I loved you, and I still do. I showed you that. You knew exactly what I feel for you.

_I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me._

I let my mind be flooded with pictures of us. With thoughts of you. And I lose my breath for a second. Are you still alive? Do you still love me? I need you here. To feel you, to see that you are still alive and unscathed, that you still feel as strongly for me as I do for you.

_I miss you._

But time goes on, does it not? Eventually, we have to move on. And I do that. I smile when I feel like screaming. I fight. I breathe. I hope. I miss you. I live.


	2. The Hero

Soft rays of moonlight landing on his bed had woken Harry up. It took him a moment to figure out why he is not in a tent, and another moment to remember all the events of the previous night. He couldn't decide if they made him happy or sad. On one hand, Voldemort was gone. The war has ended, and it looked like a bright future was ahead of him. On the other, so many lives had been lost. So many friends and family. It was a strange feeling, and Harry was glad he had enough sense to ask for the Dreamless sleep potion.

But now he was back to reality. Dumbledore once asked him if he ever felt as if too many thoughts and memories were crammed into his mind. At that time, Harry could honestly say that he has never experienced such a feeling. It has been four years since that happened, though. And today, Harry knew exactly how it felt to be full of feelings, thoughts, and memories -the nice and the bad ones. He couldn't just confide to a Pensieve, though. He needed a person. Not Ron or Hermione, they had their own share of problems. He knew who he wanted to see. But did she want to see him?

* * *

><p>Ginny spent the whole day awake. Everyone has gone to sleep, everyone needed to rest. But not her. She couldn't. She could've asked for a potion. But she didn't want to sleep. She wanted to cry until her eyes burned to the point of pain. She wanted to yell, scream, and tear her feather stuffed pillow apart. Luckily, she was alone in her dorm. All of the other girls from her year were with their families. No matter if they went home the previous night when McGonagall ordered them to, or this morning, when they just wanted to be at peace in their homes. Most of the students left in the castle were the children who who lost someone in the battle, children who wanted to help with getting everything back in order, or simply families who didn't have the strength to go home after all they've been through. After what they have <em>all<em> been through.

In the last forty-eight hours, Ginny lost a brother. Ginny lost friends. Ginny lost mentors. Ginny thought she had lost the love of her life. At that point, her life came crumbling down. Seeing Harry lie on the ground before her, helpless, immobile...she forced herself to think of the last word. Dead. After seeing Fred, Remus, Tonks, even Colin that way, this was the last straw. She had cried because of Harry countless times that year.

Well, not countless, actually. Thirteen thousand, five hundred and thirty seven. But she has always gathered herself. She has never let anyone see her cry. But the thirteen thousand, five hundred and thirty eight time she cried because of Harry, everyone saw. She screamed his name. She refused to believe he was dead.

After months of being away, after the tremendous joy that has overcome her when she saw him back, she couldn't believe that she only got three sentences from him before he died. And then in a second, his body was gone. Harry was gone, and she felt the slightest trace of hope. Maybe he wasn't dead. Maybe he was just hit with that curse that hit Hermione in the Department of Mysteries.

And she was right. He wasn't dead. He was standing in the middle of the Great Hall. He just saved her Mum's life. He was still standing. He talked about something she couldn't hear. The only thing she saw was Harry. Harry, standing against Voldemort. Harry, shouting in the air. Voldemort, falling to the ground. Dead. Fallen.

In that second, nothing else mattered. She was tired, she was hurt, and she felt horrible. But she picked up all the strength that she had left, and she ran. She ran the fastest she ever did. She needed to see him for herself, to feel him, to make sure he really is alive. She managed to hug him for a split second, and for that time, it was enough. She could hug him and then go back to her family. Now she needed him, more than ever. But it wasn't as simple as that. He had to come to her. He had left, and he was the one who should come and fix it all now.

* * *

><p>Harry was standing in front of Ginny's room for the last fifteen minutes. In his mind, once Harry was there, he would come up with a brilliant speech that would make her fall back into his arms at once. But in reality, there wasn't one single word on Harry's mind. He was just a nervous teenager who needed someone to share his feelings with. So, using all the courage he had left, he curled his hand in a fist and knocked on the door.<p>

A muffled thump came from the room, followed by loud cursing. "Gin, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a second!" Her voice was harsh and husky. She has been crying.

"Damn you, hairbrush!" Thump. Thump. Thump. Footsteps? Harry's thoughts were confirmed when he heard the door unlock. Ginny stood before him, looking like a mess. Her hair tangled up, her eyes red and swollen, paired with large bags under them. Harry sighed. It was obvious that Ginny hasn't gotten get any rest since the battle. "Hey, Harry."

"Hey, Gin. Mind if I come in?" She shook her head no and moved to her bed.

"Did you need to talk to me about something?" She looked at him with anger in her eyes. Was she really mad at him? She had every right to be. Harry knew that. So why did it surprise him to see her like this?

"Well, yes...actually, no. How are you, Gin?" The look she gave him was enough to regret asking that question immediately. "Oh, I'm swell, Potter! You have no idea what wonders the battle has done for me. Yeah, I can't wait to throw an end of the year party once the term is officially over."

Harry let out a sigh and took her hand in his. "You know I didn't mean it like that. I just thought...we're both having a hard time. It's easier when you share your thoughts with someone, you know." Ginny broke free of his hand, and started to walk up and down the bedroom. "Well, if you're having such a hard time, maybe you should go to Ron and Hermione. After all, who am I? Just Harry Potter's little ex-girlfriend."

"You know why I had to break up with you, Gin."

"Yeah, but I don't remember signing a contract to wait by the window until you get home."

Harry backed up a bit, he didn't expect this. Ginny was right, though. It would be stupid to think she'd stay single while he was away, not when she was so gorgeous and funny and smart and everything a guy could ask for. "So, who is he?"

She lifted her head up, looking puzzled. "What?"

"You just said..." She got up, looking even angrier than before. "Why do you _always_ get it so wrong? There isn't a _him_. There's you, off on an another adventure, and then there's me, a maiden waiting for her hero. But I don't want to be Penelope anymore, Harry. I don't want to just sit and..." She never got to finish the sentence as Harry quickly stood up, wrapped his arms around her waist and gave her comforting kiss, murmuring "It's okay now. I'm here." She looked up at him, showing a slight hint of a smile. "You actually thought I found a new boyfriend?"

Harry smiled as he sat back on the bed and pulled Ginny on his lap. "Come to think of it, that was a stupid thought. You were busy stealing swords and saving first years. You're not Penelope. You're Ginny, the girl who took things over."

She finally smiled as she placed her arms around Harry's neck. "Well, you don't always have to be the hero."


	3. House hunting

Ginny Potter has had it. For the last two hours, she has unsuccessfully been trying to wake her husband up. Yelling, shutting the door and smacking him with today's morning issue of the Prophet didn't help, but she'd like to see him sleep after being attacked by five feet of ginger. She took a deep breath, ran across the hallway and into their room before jumping on top of Harry.

"OW! What...Gin? What...Okay? Sleep..." Ginny's face went beet red as she started to throw every object she could place her hand on at Harry. "Harry...Potter! You...are...getting up! We...are supposed to...go house hunting...today! We've talked about this, Harry! I've been looking for a nice house for the last two months! I'm giving you six minutes, and if I have to go back upstairs to wake you up again, I swear to Merlin there will be unidentified objects growing from your head!" She stomped out of their room, a whirl of red flying after her. Harry grunted and picked his glasses up. He vaguely remembered them having a talk about moving out one evening after visiting Bill and Fleur.

* * *

><p>Harry dragged his feet into the Burrow's kitchen. He was exhausted after an entire day of tagging along after Ginny and Hermione who just <em>had<em> to visit every toy shop in London to find gifts for little Victoire's birthday. Ron was conveniently busy running the shop the last Saturday before the start of the school year, so he was left to carry whatever the two of them bought around. And on top of that, he spent the afternoon discussing things he didn't really want to remember with Percy. His stomach growled as he went through the various pots on the stove. "Hey Gin, do you think there's some cottage pie left from lunch?"

She sighed and turned around to face him. "This is pathetic, Harry."  
>"What? Okay, I know I've gotten a little weight during the summer, but I'll just have a <em>little <em>slice..."  
>"I'm not talking about that! I'm talking about the fact that we're two married adults who both got jobs, but we're still living with my parents. Doesn't that just spell pathetic?"<br>"Well, maybe-"stated Harry stuffing his mouth with pie "-but what's wrong with us living here? There's plenty of room, your Mum cooks and does our laundry...I've got to tell you, I'm not really seeing the pathetic side of it."  
>"Really? You don't think that a 22 year old who has survived seven encounters with the most dangerous dark wizard of our time, killed a grown dragon and a sixty feet snake and is going to have a <em>child<em> in eight months living with his mother in law who basically treats him like he's three is pathetic?"  
>Harry shrugged sleepily. "You don't have to insult me, you know. If you really want to move out, we'll found a new flat...house, whatever you like." Ginny grinned and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, honey. I'm off to sleep, goodnight!"<p>

* * *

><p>Harry silently cursed himself for agreeing to this. But he knew Ginny had a knack for jinxes and that combined with pregnancy hormones...well, let's just say he wasn't risking to find out what she had in her sleeve if he wasn't ready in time. He put his clothes on in record time and brushed his teeth before literally jumping down the stairs. Ginny was sitting at the kitchen table, silently looking at her wrist watch. "30 more seconds and we wouldn't be able to check any Muggle houses." Harry shivered before helping Ginny up. "Oh, you wouldn't really..." the deadly look she sent in his direction made him shut up.<p>

They made their way out of the front yard and side apparated. He looked at the bright yellow two story house in front of them with blue smoke coming out of the chimney. "Let me guess, not a Muggle house?" Ginny looked puzzled. "This wasn't here when I came here for the first time..." They walked up to the door and knocked shyly. "_Billy, Emma, WHAT have you done? ROGER, you were supposed to look after them! Emma, no, don't open the door!" _However, the door did open to show them a little girl of about 6, blond curls framing a face red from running. Her little mouth formed a perfect 'o' as she saw the couple. "MUUM, it's _Ginny Potter_! From the _HOLYHEAD HARPIES!_" Just then, a short slender woman stormed in, tying her black curly hair in a pony tail. "That is not how we greet guests, Emma. What do we say when we meet new people?" The little girl pouted and extended her arm out. "My name is Emma, it's nice to meet you." Ginny smiled at her and shook her arm. "Hi Emma, my name is Ginny this is my husband Harry, and _this_ –" she pointed to her stomach " is James." The girl gave a shy smile to Harry before focusing on Ginny. "The Harpies are my faaavourite team! Daddy takes me to every game and I'm getting a Harpies jersey with _my _name written on it for my birthday next week! He promised to have all the players sign it, so I guess you'll see it soon, then! Ooh, would you mind taking a picture with me and my Dad? _He_ can take it, my Mum isn't good with the camera" she exclaimed, pointing at Harry. The woman picked the little girl up, silently giving her a look meaning to say '_Slow down._'

She turned her head to the couple standing outside, giving them a warm smile before addressing Harry. "My name is Bridget Beckett, pleased to meet you. Come on in, it's hot outside!" Harry and Ginny followed her into the big blue kitchen. "Sit down, I'll get you some lemonade. My husband should be down any second, I sent him off to change from his pajamas." She rolled her eyes as she poured lemonade into what were supposed to be cups, but looked more like painted clumps of clay. Bridget discreetly pointed at her daughter. "She made these herself, so we'll have to use them for a few days until they _disappear." _she whispered, mimicing exclamation marks with her hands. Harry waved his hand, trying his best not to spill the lemonade on his shirt. "Oh, they're charming, really." A rumble was heard from the living room when a boy of around fifteen and a strongly built man came running to the room. "HA! Beat you again!" The boy shouted, running his hand through a mess of black curly hair. He was laughing and searching the room for something when his eyes got fell on the couple sitting at the table. "You're Harry Potter!" He exclaimed, his jaw falling open. "And _you're _Ginny Potter! My sister's obsessed with you. Not as much as Slughorn's obsessed with _you_, though." He said, pointing at Harry. "I'm Billy, by the way." He added, blushing a bit. His father shook hands with Harry and Ginny, introducing himself as Roger before picking Emma up and placing her on his lap. "Excuse my son for his behaviour, we blame puberty." He said, playfully messing his son's hair. "So, I hear you are interested in buying the house?" Ginny nodded taking a sip from her cup. "I was actually here two months ago, and I really like it. I was just wondering, why are you selling it?"

"I'm the head healer at the spell damage department in St. Mungo's," Bridget explained "and a few months ago I got an offer to work at du Pont Broussard's clinic in Paris, so we're moving therewhen the school year starts, so Billy can still go to Hogwarts, and we'll probably send Emma there to when she's old enough. Now, would you like to see the rest of the house?" Harry and Ginny nodded and followed Bridget up the stairs. "There's four bedrooms, we converted one into an office for Roger, here-" she opened the door showing them a room filled with stacks of papers "so Billy and Emma each have their own rooms." She led them to Emma's room, with a picture of Ginny on the wall. "She really _is_ obsessed with you." Bridget smiled. She opened the next door to discover a room twice the size of a normal living room. Half of it was cluttered with cauldrons, test tubes and jar with potion ingredients. "We had to cast an extension charm to make room for all of his projects. Don't worry, I'll take it down once the room's empty." Harry just stared in awe. "So that's why he mentioned Slughorn?"

"Oh yes, he got an invitation to a dinner party on his second of school. My family owns a large chain of apothecaries, you see, so he figured he should make friends with Billy. It wasn't long before he also found out that he had a talent for potions, so now he's a regular guest there." Ginny's eyes opened in realization. "So _that's _why he looked familiar, he was in the Slug club!" Bridget laughed, nodding. "He's always torturing Emma because he's seen you in person, but I have a feeling he's not going to use that anymore." They casually chatted through the bedroom, two bathrooms, and the rest of the house for the next half an hour, Ginny took a picture with Bridget and secretly signed her jersey hidden in her parents' wardrobe, and soon they were walking out of the yard.

"So, what did you think?" Ginny asked carefully.

"The kitchen was great, and that's all I need, love." Ginny grinned playing her arm around Harry's waist. "That's great, since I didn't really like any of the other houses."

"That's great, since I'm not really in the mood to look at houses all day." Harry smiled and kissed the top of his wife's head. "Hey, do you think our kids are gonna be like Billy and Emma?" Ginny asked. "Well, I'm not sure they'll be particularly into potions, but if we have a girl and she doesn't have the exact same personality as Emma, I've got to admit I'll be a little disappointed." Ginny smiled and shook her head. "Don't worry, all Weasley girls are like Emma."

"But she'll be a Potter."  
>"Yes honey, of course." She grinned, crossing her fingers behind her back. Sometimes it was just better to keep Harry oblivious to all the things she already knew.<p> 


End file.
